Saturday, June 20, 2015


I've been told so many conflicting things,
And my mind fills to the brim with words.
I tip it over, I learn
Every time someone speaks.
Every time, including me.

I've been told
To never let it bother me
I've been told
My problems aren't as real as they seem.
I've been told
To stand up for what I believe in.
I've been told
My problems count too.
I've been told
these opposites
And I've learned to stay true.

Oh, you say, don't take my color away,
That's fine.
To see you as you, then, well,
I won't be blind.

Cuz love takes a lot of sacrifice
And broken hearts.
Yes love takes a lot of selflessness
And renewing starts.

You say
don't go, just stay.

Well I'll stay up 'til 3 AM to cure a broken heart.
And if I have to find a way to cross a thousand miles,
I will.

Oh I say.
Let it be there.
Let it be real.
Let your heart beat.
You never know what you'll feel.

Yes love with all your heart.
Never let it go.
Hate will sink you but
With love you'll soar.

I know I'm not perfect,
And I have a lot of flaws,
And I'm scared of smiling,
I'm scared to be a cause.
But one day -
Far away, one day -
I will soar farther than before.

What I do is take moments
Hold them in my hands.
And love each person
Whoever crosses my path.

And you can hurt me,
Stab me in the back,
But I'll still smile.
I'll still smile,
And give you my heart.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

My Roleplaying Timeline

Insomnia two nights in a row.  Oh joy T_T

Anyway, I was thinking... I've had twelve years as a roleplayer.  Why not write down all that I remember and sketch it out?

1st Grade.
Find a game called "Puzzle Pirates" for 13+.  Lie about my age, have fun.  Discover roleplay; have this shadow-person-character.  She's my first character as far as I can remember.  Actually I'm pretty impressed with myself; she was decent.
...Seriously at 6 I had no qualms about lying about my age and joining 13+ sites.  Though I avoided adult sites still.  Yay?
2nd Grade.
Puzzle Pirates friends leave me :( Find game called 'Furcadia'.  Start playing Furcadia.  Find out it has roleplay after accidently going into a dream that OH CRAP THIS LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THE MAIN SCREEN.  Figure out what dreams are, find new dream, ohhey it's an adoption thing LET'S BE A BABEH.
3rd Grade.
Furcadia is my life.  Roleplay constantly.  BaHs in home.
4th Grade.
Get whispered by someone who has a name that my mom claims means 'pedophile'.  Am confused; neither she nor I can clearly remember it.  Probably they just made it up, let's be real here.  Find out I had a Neopets account and reopen it, quit Guild I had made with 1 member (how?).  End up joining Warriors roleplay guild because WARRIORS.
5th Grade.
Warriors roleplay guild dies.  Create new guild called Lanial Kimboria and have fun.
6th Grade.
Look for a new Warriors roleplay through Google; I miss it.  Stumble on a place called 'Broken Truths' oh this must be Warriors - wait no it's big cats.
Find a home.
7th Grade.
Lanial Kimboria gets upgraded to a Proboards forum off of Neopets due to the prompting of yours truly.  Have a lot of fun.  LK dies :(
Rediscover Furcadia.  Roleplay like crazy.  Get the most complicated plot in the world with a consistent partner.
8th Grade.
ISSUES AND PROBLEMS.  My rocks are my best friend and Broken Truths.  Roleplay is my life.
9th Grade.
EVERYTHING IS CHANGING and most of it is for the better? yeah this is pretty nice I find new forums start joining things... Find a place called 'Translucence' and hocrap that's cool o.o
10th Grade.
Quit Broken Truths.  Find the joys of Pokemon roleplay.  Try and find a forum to replace what became my home; none of them fit.  Start talking to Boyfriend on gchat.
11th Grade.
Also find the world of the adult roleplayers when I'm used to teens and college students.  There's moms and stuff rping too??? wut.  It's pretty cool.
12th Grade.
Join a bunch of forums.  THEY KEEP DYING WTF.  Finally find some non-dying forums: current count is 4 (and a half: Academy of Forgotten Arts becomes The Tower of Babel and it's in transferring stages and I'm not sure if I'm even gonna continue it).

So there you have it.
12 years of roleplay history in short nutshell form :P

Friday, June 5, 2015

Suddenly: Ads?!

Yes.  My blog has ads now.  I want teh monies.

Google has this adsense thing that I signed up for.  By allowing for ads on my blog, I actually get money.  I am not allowed to click my ads however, even if I'm interested in them :P

Anyway I made them to be the least intrusive possible so they shouldn't be a bother.  Just seen.


Thursday, June 4, 2015

Love Always Wins

Every day I learn a little more of what love is.
Love is distance.
Love given and love received is the best thing in the world.
Love is not soulmates.
It's not easy.
Love is time.
Love is eternal.
Once you've loved, you don't stop loving.
The person you've given your heart to
Will always have your heart,
Even if you both grow so far apart your differences can no longer be reconciled.
There is nothing else like love.
Nothing else like the ache in your body because it's so strong.
Nothing else like the brain twisting words together,
Reading into every move,
And concluding that love is the only answer.
A wise teacher who I greatly admire told us,
"Love is the best selfish illusion."
It is not the best (nor the worst).
Love is selfless.
And it's not an illusion.
What's the strongest memory?
When we dream, our stories are overcome
By love of friends, love of family, love of lover.
I see your flaws.
I love you.
Not in spite of, but because of.
That is true love:
You complement each other,
You love even the flaws.
I embrace every bit of you,
Freckles and acne, anger and pain.
I would lighten your problems and take them for my own, if I could.
Love is giving.
I will not provide the partial love,
The "I love your shoes" love is not enough.
I will only love with a charitable love,
A sacrificing love.
I will not give the selfish love but the selfless love.
The only love worth talking about it.
The true love I have for you.
Stranger or friend, God loves you.
And to truly be like Jesus, I can only walk in His path.
I love you unconditionally.
Anger and pain are a part of me,
And sometimes - rare as it is - I will hate.
But the love I feel I won't let fade.
So at the end of the day,
As the wisest always know,
Love wins.

I love you, love of mine, man of my heart.