Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas BT

Friday, December 23, 2011

This End, New Beginning

This year is coming to a close.  It's been a long, hard year for me.  October marked the first year in the new apartment, when we moved from the only house I've ever known.  And everything else, it's like I've been falling apart.
In March, my grandmother died.  Three weeks later, my dog joined her in Heaven.  My dad kept getting worse.  He did so many things, I'm still confused about how I feel.  At least I know I love him and I miss him awfully bad.  I've struggled with self-esteem.  I lost the light I loved to spread.  I've been going up and down, and it seems everything's been hitting me at once.
My dad and my mom seperated, and I've had so much trouble at school.  It's so very stressful.  I've had to see a therapist, and I'm diagnosed with anxiety with depression.  I'm terrified of what can happen in the future, and I'm living in the present and being broken because of the past.
This year has been a long, rough one, but I've learned a lot of positive things.
I've learned that to be selfish can help you out.  I've learned the connection that you can make with people.  I've made so many strong connections, and have lost a few.  I've learned that everyone has a value - including me.  That value never changes or goes away; the whole world is important.
I've learned the meaning of family and friends.  My mom is every reason I'm alive today.  And my friends... gosh, I don't know how they put up with me.  Love has given me a power that few people have, and I'm so glad I have such an open heart and mind.
There's so much more I've struggled with, so many more lessons.  But this is the biggest one:
If you say you're going to do something, then nothing can stop you or change that.
So today I say I'm going to let my creativity soar.  So today I'm going to write, and share my value by showing people there's.  Today I am going to begin to change the world.

As this year ends, I hope we can all take it for reflection.
Merry Christmas, and have a wonderful, magical, hope-filled, amazing New Year.

With love,


Sit down beside, the one alone,
Ask who, the response,
"I'm nobody who matters."
And walk away,
Slowly fade,
This is life, that's okay.
Sit down beside, the one alone,
Ask why, the response,
"It's nothing that matters."
Stay silent, no questions,
Slowly stay,
This is life, that's alright.
Sit down beside, the one alone,
Ask how, the response,
"No way that matters."
A careful hug, a careful push,
Slowly walk away,
This is life, forever one way.

Nobody sits silent,
Sat and lost, dreams gone crashing,
Everyone will grow up,
Loose dreams and imagination,
Of course, it'll always be,
In one aspect alone forever.
Give up, give in, hide it and live,
But show the world something special,
Show the world magic indeed.

But nobody is everybody,
No matter in anyone,
Value is nothing,
But then, if such a case,
Why is there such change?
Someone out there, always caring,
Learn and live and die.

Nobody is everybody,
The importance isn't there,
All are empty songs,
Forgotten worth, disappeared.
What you know, gone.
Smile weakly, smile slow,
And maybe, somewhere, hope will grow.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Kuro-Chan's Christmas

End of discussion.

Saturday, December 10, 2011


The truth is out at last,
It's never been this or that,
Black and white is all a lie,
All that is just makes me cry.
Hope, peace, harmony,
I thought it all would come back to me,
Now here I am, proven wrong,
Dissapointment is my song.
I thought I'd have him, I thought he'd care,
But now I'm back to pulling out my hair.
It's not her fault, it's not mine,
It's only his, not the divine,
I thought he'd come back to love,
My Father in Heaven's gift from above,
How dare he prove me wrong again!
When my heart was just beginning to mend!

Daddy dearest, why so cruel,
Can't you make up your mind?
I'm sick of waiting when I can't find
A single ounce of truth.
I've been used by you and now I'm done,
Good luck, and find your own freaking sun.

But I don't give up, I'm always the optimist,
Even when things aren't really optimistic,
So since nobody's trying I'll give it a go,
Fifteen years old and hey, what do you know?
Praying for a family that will never be fixed;
Father in Heaven, help me be steeled,
The worse that can happen is next to appear.