Friday, December 23, 2011

This End, New Beginning

This year is coming to a close.  It's been a long, hard year for me.  October marked the first year in the new apartment, when we moved from the only house I've ever known.  And everything else, it's like I've been falling apart.
In March, my grandmother died.  Three weeks later, my dog joined her in Heaven.  My dad kept getting worse.  He did so many things, I'm still confused about how I feel.  At least I know I love him and I miss him awfully bad.  I've struggled with self-esteem.  I lost the light I loved to spread.  I've been going up and down, and it seems everything's been hitting me at once.
My dad and my mom seperated, and I've had so much trouble at school.  It's so very stressful.  I've had to see a therapist, and I'm diagnosed with anxiety with depression.  I'm terrified of what can happen in the future, and I'm living in the present and being broken because of the past.
This year has been a long, rough one, but I've learned a lot of positive things.
I've learned that to be selfish can help you out.  I've learned the connection that you can make with people.  I've made so many strong connections, and have lost a few.  I've learned that everyone has a value - including me.  That value never changes or goes away; the whole world is important.
I've learned the meaning of family and friends.  My mom is every reason I'm alive today.  And my friends... gosh, I don't know how they put up with me.  Love has given me a power that few people have, and I'm so glad I have such an open heart and mind.
There's so much more I've struggled with, so many more lessons.  But this is the biggest one:
If you say you're going to do something, then nothing can stop you or change that.
So today I say I'm going to let my creativity soar.  So today I'm going to write, and share my value by showing people there's.  Today I am going to begin to change the world.

As this year ends, I hope we can all take it for reflection.
Merry Christmas, and have a wonderful, magical, hope-filled, amazing New Year.

With love,

1 comment:

  1. You are one amazing, wonderful, creative, precious girl, my daughter. I love every moment I am blessed with you in my life. You fill my heart in ways you cannot begin to understand. I love you so much! Merry Christmas to you, too, Sweetie!
    Love, Mama