Despite all the times and all the lies,
Despite the doubts and regrets,
Despite the thoguhts, the things that aren't,
Despite the lack of knowledge, wisdom,
Despite the loss of love,
I know out there, there's Someone,
And He always listens, but I can't speak,
It's hard to explain what's hiding deep inside me,
I'm a little girl, useless and frail,
But there's a strength inside.
I'm waiting to be heard, I'm waiting to be loved,
I have a Father in Heaven so far above.
And I remember the times,
When I've given into doubt,
But someone's come through.
I may not be made up of much,
And this world may be a dark and bitter place,
But when there's evil there is good;
When fear, there comes hope,
And maybe there won't be peace and love,
But I know they're inside of me.
And even though I don't finish everything,
And sometimes am forgetful, irresponsible,
I can really come through,
Despite all the words pushing me down,
Despite all the laughter at me,
Despite all the tears and hate,
Despite the weakness I hold,
I'm still a brave and beautiful someone.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
There Are Miracles and Good Things
Today I saw this really great presentation. There are miracles all around, all the time. There was this guy in a really bad car accident, and he was the one to bear the brunt. The driver caused them to crash against a telephone pole, and he was the one who's side hit it. But he's alive, and walking, but from the knee down his left leg is paralyzed from a traumatic brain energy. He can't remember anything before the crash and, in general, has memory problems.
But he is a brilliant poet, and it seems that his life has greatly improved. He has a girlfriend he's going to propose to next month. She sat with him through all of the seven surgeries he's had since he's been dating her. In total, he's had twenty-two surgeries and in the summer will have his twenty-third.
I was truly inspired. This guy, his name's Tyler, he lives and loves and gets it. I mean, it's so hard to truly get it; to truly understand how much life matters.
He's so spirited and friendly, and I honestly admire him. It was a miracle. It was a miracle he survived, and managed to live, and develop, and change. I thank God that he lived, that it's all getting better. I'm not thankful or happy he was hurt in the first place, but things can and do look up.
Even in the worst of situations, there are good things. No matter how bad it gets, there is something. I don't always see this something in my own life, and I doubt anyone else does either. But sometimes, just sometimes, there's that pure, unfiltered moment when you realize,
It's going to be okay.
And while it's not enough, it's something. And I love motivational speakers, especially when they really touch - especially when they really care.
People matter, and I thank God every day for letting me go to Smokey - this wonderful place where people don't (or give there best effort to not) judge, or hate, and we get to see presentations and have amazing teachers and facilitators and on and on and on - and for bringing people into my life that mean the world to me.
None of us are perfect, but at least we're here.
But he is a brilliant poet, and it seems that his life has greatly improved. He has a girlfriend he's going to propose to next month. She sat with him through all of the seven surgeries he's had since he's been dating her. In total, he's had twenty-two surgeries and in the summer will have his twenty-third.
I was truly inspired. This guy, his name's Tyler, he lives and loves and gets it. I mean, it's so hard to truly get it; to truly understand how much life matters.
He's so spirited and friendly, and I honestly admire him. It was a miracle. It was a miracle he survived, and managed to live, and develop, and change. I thank God that he lived, that it's all getting better. I'm not thankful or happy he was hurt in the first place, but things can and do look up.
Even in the worst of situations, there are good things. No matter how bad it gets, there is something. I don't always see this something in my own life, and I doubt anyone else does either. But sometimes, just sometimes, there's that pure, unfiltered moment when you realize,
It's going to be okay.
And while it's not enough, it's something. And I love motivational speakers, especially when they really touch - especially when they really care.
People matter, and I thank God every day for letting me go to Smokey - this wonderful place where people don't (or give there best effort to not) judge, or hate, and we get to see presentations and have amazing teachers and facilitators and on and on and on - and for bringing people into my life that mean the world to me.
None of us are perfect, but at least we're here.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Messed Up World
Don't you point an accusing finger,
I'm not the only one to blame.
Don't you think you're the only victim,
Because I've been hurt too.
And the person on the roof,
They're going to end up dead because,
Of something everyone did or didn't do.
And the person in the car,
They're going to go home and cry,
Because nobody cares when it's you.
Don't you scream and say I'm wrong,
Because I've been doing my best,
Don't you dare think you're perfect,
Because you're broken too.
And the person on the floor,
They're never going to rise because,
People let them lay there.
And the person in my heart,
They're going to go home and pray,
Because there's got to be a God somewhere.
But what kind of God would let this world die?
Because it's so messed up,
And babies get beaten up 'til they die,
Loose a life before it's even begun.
But there's got to be a God out there,
Because even though it's so messed up,
People are still willing to die,
People are still willing to pray.
But what kind of person would not give up?
Because it's so hopeless,
And people get shot because they're different,
None of us perfect but someone hates me,
But there's got to be some hope out there,
Because even though people give up,
I'm still willing to try,
I'm still trying to pray.
And sometimes the words don't come straight through,
And sometimes my heart is dead even though they do,
And sometimes I give up before I try,
And I wonder what makes you think,
I'm wrong and you're right,
When there's six billion people all living here,
And only one million manage to agree on anything.
So here's the facts, here's what I need to say,
There's not a single time it's been okay.
But people are still trying,
And people are still believing,
And none of it is black and white,
And we're all put to shame.
But I believe in a God out there,
And all the gods are really just the same,
A way to hold tight to a little piece of faith.
And I don't care what name He goes by,
All I know is He's there, somewhere.
And I'm not saying you're wrong,
Because I know you're not,
This world cannot be black and white,
And everyone's wrong and at the same time right.
So I will hold tight to the faith,
And I will hold on to my hope,
And it will be hard, I know,
When all I wanna do is leave the hard stuff for the heroes,
But what happens if I'm the only hero left?
Or maybe the hero is you?
One of these days I'm going to be a hero,
Because everyone ends up a hero to someone,
And then in the end everyone dies.
But even though this world is hard,
And even though I'm too small and too young,
I can make a difference for someone.
But even though this world is messed up,
I'll love instead of hate,
I'll believe instead of doubt,
And I'll find the words to pray.
There is a God somewhere,
And there is me right here,
All my convictions come from somewhere,
All of my dreams come from me.
All of my heart goes to somewhere,
All I believe goes to someone bigger then me.
I'm not the only one to blame.
Don't you think you're the only victim,
Because I've been hurt too.
And the person on the roof,
They're going to end up dead because,
Of something everyone did or didn't do.
And the person in the car,
They're going to go home and cry,
Because nobody cares when it's you.
Don't you scream and say I'm wrong,
Because I've been doing my best,
Don't you dare think you're perfect,
Because you're broken too.
And the person on the floor,
They're never going to rise because,
People let them lay there.
And the person in my heart,
They're going to go home and pray,
Because there's got to be a God somewhere.
But what kind of God would let this world die?
Because it's so messed up,
And babies get beaten up 'til they die,
Loose a life before it's even begun.
But there's got to be a God out there,
Because even though it's so messed up,
People are still willing to die,
People are still willing to pray.
But what kind of person would not give up?
Because it's so hopeless,
And people get shot because they're different,
None of us perfect but someone hates me,
But there's got to be some hope out there,
Because even though people give up,
I'm still willing to try,
I'm still trying to pray.
And sometimes the words don't come straight through,
And sometimes my heart is dead even though they do,
And sometimes I give up before I try,
And I wonder what makes you think,
I'm wrong and you're right,
When there's six billion people all living here,
And only one million manage to agree on anything.
So here's the facts, here's what I need to say,
There's not a single time it's been okay.
But people are still trying,
And people are still believing,
And none of it is black and white,
And we're all put to shame.
But I believe in a God out there,
And all the gods are really just the same,
A way to hold tight to a little piece of faith.
And I don't care what name He goes by,
All I know is He's there, somewhere.
And I'm not saying you're wrong,
Because I know you're not,
This world cannot be black and white,
And everyone's wrong and at the same time right.
So I will hold tight to the faith,
And I will hold on to my hope,
And it will be hard, I know,
When all I wanna do is leave the hard stuff for the heroes,
But what happens if I'm the only hero left?
Or maybe the hero is you?
One of these days I'm going to be a hero,
Because everyone ends up a hero to someone,
And then in the end everyone dies.
But even though this world is hard,
And even though I'm too small and too young,
I can make a difference for someone.
But even though this world is messed up,
I'll love instead of hate,
I'll believe instead of doubt,
And I'll find the words to pray.
There is a God somewhere,
And there is me right here,
All my convictions come from somewhere,
All of my dreams come from me.
All of my heart goes to somewhere,
All I believe goes to someone bigger then me.
Monday, February 20, 2012
More then Shells
Can you tell me what it's like
To give up your heart, let it break,
Feel it shatter when you seperate,
Make that chance, create that try,
Be more then a shell, nothing inside?
Can I tell you what it's like,
To struggle to forgive just one,
Let the hatred come when you worked so hard,
To love each soul that comes,
But then you can't, just once?
Does anyone know what it's like,
To be perfect and make no mistakes,
Do everything right the first time,
Give second chances but don't need them?
Only One; He's not here but there.
Can someone show me what it's like,
To never doubt, but be broken inside?
Or maybe you know only what it's like,
To be doubting and hating all the time?
But more then a shell, all empty inside.
This world is hard, who told you 'easy'?
Just a warning, it gets worse,
But people are living and loving, managing,
And taking risks, more then shells,
Broken and hurting but surviving.
Survival isn't just about "life";
Being a shell, empty inside,
That could be worse; no risks, no joys,
Left as a broken piece, an unloved piece of,
Dark judgement and bitterness.
And the thing is I'm broken beyond repair,
But so are you, and everyone out there,
But we repair ourselves each time,
We take a risk, we continue to try,
More then shells: full inside.
To give up your heart, let it break,
Feel it shatter when you seperate,
Make that chance, create that try,
Be more then a shell, nothing inside?
Can I tell you what it's like,
To struggle to forgive just one,
Let the hatred come when you worked so hard,
To love each soul that comes,
But then you can't, just once?
Does anyone know what it's like,
To be perfect and make no mistakes,
Do everything right the first time,
Give second chances but don't need them?
Only One; He's not here but there.
Can someone show me what it's like,
To never doubt, but be broken inside?
Or maybe you know only what it's like,
To be doubting and hating all the time?
But more then a shell, all empty inside.
This world is hard, who told you 'easy'?
Just a warning, it gets worse,
But people are living and loving, managing,
And taking risks, more then shells,
Broken and hurting but surviving.
Survival isn't just about "life";
Being a shell, empty inside,
That could be worse; no risks, no joys,
Left as a broken piece, an unloved piece of,
Dark judgement and bitterness.
And the thing is I'm broken beyond repair,
But so are you, and everyone out there,
But we repair ourselves each time,
We take a risk, we continue to try,
More then shells: full inside.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Smile
Smile, for today is different from yesterday;
It's new but with the stains of old,
Streaking fingers and tattle-tale hopes.
And memories, why, I remember
Once upon a time and happily ever after,
Never gonna happen and,
I'm already there.
Sometimes I am weak,
But mostly I am strong,
I'm imperfect, never claimed to be
More then me.
I'm different, never claimed to be,
Another clone.
Who I am is many things,
But I am living for today.
It's hard to take things one step at a time,
But it's living day to day,
Faith, promise, honesty,
It's all there and somewhere,
Distant perfect somewhere.
Tomorrow will be different,
Brand-new with clinging fingers of hope,
But I'm not waiting for tomorrow,
Tomorrow never comes;
Today is the day I need to change,
Begin life a new,
Streaking fingers of old.
New and old side-by-side,
Love can conquer hate,
Dreams I'm still dreaming,
Worlds I'm still making,
Like nothing will ever die,
It only ever comes true.
It's new but with the stains of old,
Streaking fingers and tattle-tale hopes.
And memories, why, I remember
Once upon a time and happily ever after,
Never gonna happen and,
I'm already there.
Sometimes I am weak,
But mostly I am strong,
I'm imperfect, never claimed to be
More then me.
I'm different, never claimed to be,
Another clone.
Who I am is many things,
But I am living for today.
It's hard to take things one step at a time,
But it's living day to day,
Faith, promise, honesty,
It's all there and somewhere,
Distant perfect somewhere.
Tomorrow will be different,
Brand-new with clinging fingers of hope,
But I'm not waiting for tomorrow,
Tomorrow never comes;
Today is the day I need to change,
Begin life a new,
Streaking fingers of old.
New and old side-by-side,
Love can conquer hate,
Dreams I'm still dreaming,
Worlds I'm still making,
Like nothing will ever die,
It only ever comes true.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Gravitating Towards Hate
The morals and religions of this world are probably the most difficult to decipher, the most easy to misunderstand, the most likely to bring hate towards each other. But why? It's not right to hate someone because of hair, or skin, or eyes, or religion. Religion is possibly the biggest reason we find to hate. But it's not religion. To those who offer acceptance and hope that others can be saved or protected or what-have-you according to their religion's doctrines without shoving it down other people's throat, religion is a peace of mind. It's a guiding light; it's something to believe in. However, when it comes to religion things can be drastically different from one to another.
But let's be honest. If there was no religion, none whatsoever, people would find other ways to hate and to control and to be greedy. Religion has nothing to do with any of the world's problems. It's human error.
Yet because of religion we are seperated and hateful. I'm not saying everyone. I don't care who the freak you are or what religion you practice, you're still a human. And I know other people like this.
However, it seems to be the theme. We hate on each other in the streets, over the phone, over the internet, over television even. Everything we can is a weapon of hate. We're even preaching the wrongness and horribleness (often made up from lack of better knowledge) of other religions in THE PLACES OF WORSHIP (or lack thereof).
Like I said, I'm not saying everyone is doing this. I'm generalizing (ouch. that's not a good idea). I know my church at least doesn't preach of the wrongness and horribleness of other religions, just the truth and goodness of our own.
But the people who think 'join or die' or that 'Christianity is a religion of hate' or what-have-you (all those extremists!) put a bad name on religion. These MINORITY groups cause yet more hatred, because, "If these are like this, then the rest must be the same."
It's like saying that just because I'm white, I hate every black or vice versa. Just because a small group does, doesn't mean the whole does. Even big groups don't mean this! (So yes, just because a small/big group hates doesn't mean everyone does).
And the wars in the name of religion. How can one say that God/G-d/Allah (Christianity/Judaism/Islam to show the difference in spellings/beliefs) condones a war? God would never want a physical war in the name of religion unless He felt it was necessary for the belief to be spread or the believers saved. And most of the time, in these modern days, it is not true. Is He not a God of love and mercy? Why do we believe He is not, then, and fight against people who are practically our brothers and sisters in the similarity of their beliefs? YES. THE BELIEFS ARE SIMILAR. In so many ways, in ways we cannot even understand. Each bounds off of the other!
The similarity between human beings - compare yourself to anyone, and your DNA is AT LEAST 99.9% the same (as long as they're human, heh). A fruit fly compared to a human has 98% of the same DNA.
What are the basic needs? Food, water, and shelter. Why are romance books so popular? Because everyone cares about love in some way, shape, or form. What should everyone have? Family and friends. What do we sympathize with the most in books, movies, and reality? A lack of food, water, and shelter, as well as a lack of family and friends.
If you answered similarily, agree with, and/or answered exactly what I said to these questions, you understand that everyone is so much the same.
It doesn't matter what you believe in. You have SOMETHING to believe in. Even atheists and agnostics have to take a leap of faith.
That's what the true definition of religion is: Something to believe in, and taking a leap of faith.
So why, if we are so similar, share similarities with everyone on the planet, do we keep gravitating towards hate?
But let's be honest. If there was no religion, none whatsoever, people would find other ways to hate and to control and to be greedy. Religion has nothing to do with any of the world's problems. It's human error.
Yet because of religion we are seperated and hateful. I'm not saying everyone. I don't care who the freak you are or what religion you practice, you're still a human. And I know other people like this.
However, it seems to be the theme. We hate on each other in the streets, over the phone, over the internet, over television even. Everything we can is a weapon of hate. We're even preaching the wrongness and horribleness (often made up from lack of better knowledge) of other religions in THE PLACES OF WORSHIP (or lack thereof).
Like I said, I'm not saying everyone is doing this. I'm generalizing (ouch. that's not a good idea). I know my church at least doesn't preach of the wrongness and horribleness of other religions, just the truth and goodness of our own.
But the people who think 'join or die' or that 'Christianity is a religion of hate' or what-have-you (all those extremists!) put a bad name on religion. These MINORITY groups cause yet more hatred, because, "If these are like this, then the rest must be the same."
It's like saying that just because I'm white, I hate every black or vice versa. Just because a small group does, doesn't mean the whole does. Even big groups don't mean this! (So yes, just because a small/big group hates doesn't mean everyone does).
And the wars in the name of religion. How can one say that God/G-d/Allah (Christianity/Judaism/Islam to show the difference in spellings/beliefs) condones a war? God would never want a physical war in the name of religion unless He felt it was necessary for the belief to be spread or the believers saved. And most of the time, in these modern days, it is not true. Is He not a God of love and mercy? Why do we believe He is not, then, and fight against people who are practically our brothers and sisters in the similarity of their beliefs? YES. THE BELIEFS ARE SIMILAR. In so many ways, in ways we cannot even understand. Each bounds off of the other!
The similarity between human beings - compare yourself to anyone, and your DNA is AT LEAST 99.9% the same (as long as they're human, heh). A fruit fly compared to a human has 98% of the same DNA.
What are the basic needs? Food, water, and shelter. Why are romance books so popular? Because everyone cares about love in some way, shape, or form. What should everyone have? Family and friends. What do we sympathize with the most in books, movies, and reality? A lack of food, water, and shelter, as well as a lack of family and friends.
If you answered similarily, agree with, and/or answered exactly what I said to these questions, you understand that everyone is so much the same.
It doesn't matter what you believe in. You have SOMETHING to believe in. Even atheists and agnostics have to take a leap of faith.
That's what the true definition of religion is: Something to believe in, and taking a leap of faith.
So why, if we are so similar, share similarities with everyone on the planet, do we keep gravitating towards hate?
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