Thursday, June 23, 2011

Questioning Lies

It's a simple request with no simple answer,
How can I be this confused?
Yes, he says and he's lying completely,
No, he says and he's lying yet more.

What's the answer to this endless question?
Does he love us or not?
Today he came, said I was the best thing that happened to him,
Oh really, then why did you scare us so?

Why did you hurt me?
It's a soft voice, fluttering around,
Forgiveness, I yell and shove it down,
But it's all in my head and he's not really forgivven.

He's making me become bitter!
No, I'm becoming bitter because of what he did.
I always thought I was stronger, better,
Looks like I'm weak after all.

After all the pain, and the hate,
Needlessly given,
Looks like its him
Who takes the cake.

I don't hate him, I can't,
When he came in today and cried,
I saw the good man inside.
Please, just make it easy.

I know he can't stay.
I don't want him too.
But I do, I want the person who's hardly there,
Once upon a time my mother says he was good.

Why does good always leave?
Bad usually leaves too,
But his is staying.
I need answers to my questioning lies.

I can't help but hate the bitterness in me,
The pit, the rock, the darkness all-consuming,
Today I saw the good man inside,
Where's he gone?

I've tried, my mom's tried, but nothing seems to work.
It repeats in my head, again and again,
Today I saw the good man inside.
But usually, it's hidden by the bad.

1 comment:

  1. My sweet girl, You are such a sweet and special spirit, kind and loving and forgiving. I know it is all hard and hurtful right now, but in time, these feelings will subside and you will feel joy and happiness again. I promise you that I am here with you and for you and I will not ever leave. My love for you is unconditional and always will be. If I could shield you from this pain, I would. I've tried my best. It will be okay. Know that and let Heavenly Father heal your precious heart. We will be okay. I love you more than my own life and want you to know that you are my greatest blessing in this life.