Thursday, March 19, 2015

More Than Love

So this is love.
I have found it, I have it in my hands, breathing, alive.
I recognize it and realize it and I have bated breath.
This is how love happens.
By chance, by circumstance, by unexpected.
Oh, sure enough it can come from dating sites,
But you’ll never see it forced into being,
Summoned up from a desperate need to date someone.
No, love is accidental and happenstance,
Coming from years of friendship or a chance meeting over coffee -
Or, yes, a dating site.
It is more than “I love you”,
It is when “I love you” is the only way to explain all the words you can’t say,
All the noises and silences and glances that have no words,
When “I love you” means put down the toilet seat
Or pick up the mop,
When “I love you” means forever and eternity and, yes,
“I love you”.
The fairytales don’t write down this part because this part of love is hard.
See, it starts with the sparks, the chemistry,
The way you walk on air.
It ends, ultimately, with anger, and fighting -
And a ring.
Because it is 3 AM and you are whispering “I love you”
After a broken heart and screaming and the threat of someone sleeping on the couch.
It is couples counseling, love, it is holding tight to each other because you are more than lovers,
You are best friends.
It is beyond that, though: it is more intimate than love, more intimate than friendship;
It is knowing exactly what makes him happy or makes her cry,
Knowing all the flaws and all the perfections and saying
“I love you”
And meaning: “I smile when you smile”,
“I want to make you happy when you cry”,
“I want to be here forever”;
It is realizing that sometimes the way to make them happiest
Is to leave, and you’ll leave,
Because their happiness is so much more important than anything else.
It is placing all of their needs before your own;
It is more than that, it is them doing the same.
When you are both on pedestals you’re still equal.
It is give and take, it is an elaborate dance.
It is: “You’re too good for me” on both ends,
And sitting up late to hold them tight.
This is love.
It is true love, it is real, it is rare and it is raw.
It is a mother to her child,
It is everything I want in life.
Someone who loves me this way.
It is the only perfect, unconditional love, because it is not love.
It is more than love, it is more than that word
We throw around all the time
“I love your dress” “I love that TV show” No!
This is more than love this is better this is realer;
This is commitment and happiness and at the end of the day
You’d give anything to hold their hand.
You’d give anything to make them smile.
And at the end of the day, this sort of more-than-love cannot be given
If it is not received in equal measure.
This, this, is love -
The only love for me.

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