Our world. Our time. Our place. We’re here, nowhere else. And here is being fraught with struggles. Some are easy. Some of them… we give up. Just like that. And there are times when it’s not giving up. When it’s learning… learning that there’s people out there who are willing to hurt others, make them suffer. Because everyone suffers, in the end. Everyone.
Capital punishment – that’s the topic we’ve been discussing in language arts. And I’ve been thinking. It’s such a hard and tricky topic. Do they have a mental disorder? In a way, was it unplanned even though we saw it was? Did they do it? Are they going to die in innocence? How much does race play? What about social class?
Who are we? That is the question. Who are we? Indecent people with no care of anyone but ourselves, or people who wonder ‘till they die and feel their hearts bursting – either with hatred or, as in my case, love. Maybe sadness, pain. Or joy. Because they’re lucky. Is there someone out there who really understands us?
In the end we are alone. We are OURSELVES; nobody on this Earth before us has gone through what we’ve gone through, suffered what we’ve suffered, felt what we’ve felt the way we’ve felt it. And anyone after won’t, either. We are unique and we are individual. In the end, we are alone.
Our problems… can be small. They can be good. But they hurt. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or living in poverty; they hurt until they swell and consume every little bit of you sometimes, and you can only pray that you’re stronger then your pain and your darkness and your want, your need for relief from the cruelty. But then you don’t. And it happens.
Suicide isn’t selfish. It certainly isn’t selfless, but it’s not selfish. It’s your permanent solution… to a temporary problem. There’s enough death and pain without people purposefully inflicting it. But isn’t that what we do, hurt and hurt and hurt ‘till the world all comes crumbling down? We loose our lights, slowly, day by day, and then we decide to put them out completely. Good-bye our opportunities, our addition, our families, our broken-ended dreams. And those we leave behind suffer, even if you don’t think it at the time. Even if you don’t realize it.
But then sometimes we stuff ourselves full of love and hope, and we only get punished for it. But the punishment is a hint of what will come. Things that we suffer for… one day we will be blessed tenfold for our pain. To show charity, to show kindness, respect, love… In the end we will be blessed.
In the end we won’t be alone.
In the end… we may just inspire… create… change, and others will change with us. This is why we live. This is why we love. This is why we suffer and cry and fall and fade… fade from life.
Change… change, for the better.
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