Saturday, April 2, 2011

Texas 3, 4, 5

We'll be there on Thursday, maybe Friday.
Daddy scared me again.
Why can't things be right?
I'm so done.  I'm just so sick of everything.  I can't - I won't - I won't, I won't cope anymore.  I'm so done, with EVERYTHING.  It's hard and it's painful and I'm so sick of it.  I just need a break, but it'll never come.
Why do people keep forgetting I'm only 14?  I'm only a 14-year-old little girl.  I've been mature, I've been an adult, more adult then my dad, and I understand that everything works out.  Sure, I'm mature, but I really am only fourteen.  I'm a little girl, can't I just be a little girl?
I can't help but feel betrayed by Gramma, she's dead, she's gone, she took away my Spring Break and I shouldn't feel that way but I do.  I'm just so bored and sick of being here, I just want to be home.
Why can't they understand?
I shouldn't have to tell them, I shouldn't have to but I do, my own parents aren't recognizing the signs and it's so far from right, so far from what I need.
Why can't things be right?
I just can't help feeling that they were, once, but then I wonder if they ever were.  I don't know.  I don't know.

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