Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Haunting

Your whole life is a lie.

You made up your best friend.

Everyone is an actor.

You imagined your career.

Everyone is in on the conspiracy.

Except you.

A combination of two movies I can't get out of my head, concepts that make sleeping difficult.  Beautiful Mind tells the true story of John Nash, a genius with schizophrenia.  He imagines his roommate, who is also his best friend.  He imagines a career working for the government to stop a Russian missile, yet all of it was imaginary.  The career I can handle.  That's not nearly important as friendship.  The best friend, imagining him... That freaks me out.  He had a life, a history.  A niece he had to take care of because his sister died.  He was the "prodigal roommate", and I liked him.
He was fake all along.  It disturbs and bothers me.  I can't get it out of my head.
The Truman Show tells the story of Truman Burbank (played by Jim Carrey).  He lives in a dome called Seahaven, a fake town of actors created for him to live with.  He's the only one who doesn't know he's being watched 24/7, the only one who is real and honest and not an actor.  His life... is a lie.

So now I'm being haunted by fake lives, the possibility that everything is fake.  It won't get out of my head.  How can you know "I think therefore I am", how can you know you are not some imagined creation of someone else, someone who has a mind enough to imagine your very thoughts?
...How do you know you're truly thinking?

How do you know your life isn't some sort of coma-induced dream, that the world around you is fake?

How do you know everyone else isn't an actor? (well, they might slip, ha.)

It disturbs me.  I'm going to go throw a pillow over my head and try and stop thinking about this.

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