Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Wanted vs Unwanted

These words are so similar.
For six letters they are identical.
'unwanted'.  Two additional letters.

It changes the world.  From wanted, from beautiful, from long walks on the beach and a happy family, to unwanted, to neglected and lonely and hurting.
Wanted is beautiful; unwanted is ugly.

Wanted is a baby.
Wanted is a happy child, a child who is told she is beautiful, who is told he is kind, who is told they are worthwhile.
Wanted is a friendship circle so close and tight you can't break those bonds, a friendship that will last forever, whether it's formed in elementary school or in college.
Wanted is holding hands and surprise gifts, red roses and picnics in the mountains.
Wanted is excitement, joy, a new cycle and a new start; a family.
Wanted is love.

Unwanted is a glob of tissue.
Unwanted is a sad child, a child who does not know what it's like to not have to hide bruises, one who only knows neglect.
Unwanted is an outcast, walking, looking at the friends who laugh together.
Unwanted is an arrow of sharp jealousy and isolation, looking at the couples and wishing so hard but nothing changes.  Of course.
Unwanted is fear, and terror, and screaming, and uncertainty.
Unwanted is indifference.

Think about it.
A cat, living in a home, is a wonderful creature.  Sharp claws be damned, puking to be cleaned up; there is still love.
A dog, roaming the streets, is a mangy mutt.  Bad and misbehaving, it is all wrong, it is ugly and nasty and dirty.

Wanted is beautiful.
Unwanted is ugly.

Wanted is pronouns, and humanity, and love.
Unwanted is 'it', and dirtiness, and indifference.

I want I want I want.
And what I want is beautiful, is warm, is lovely, is something to care for.  What I don't want is ugly, unpleasant, boring, useless.

Wanted is a Christmas puppy with velvet ears and a cold nose and a wagging tail.
Unwanted is chewed shoes and poop on the blankets and back to shelter.

Unwanted is death because it just so happens that no-kill shelters are short on space and today they can't take the puppy you foolishly bought.

Wanted is open arms.
Unwanted is you are a failure, you are a failure, you are a -

you are someone.  Always someone.
Wanted or unwanted.
Cat, dog, old woman or new baby.
A fetus.
Bird, fish, young toddler or old man.
You are someone.
Wanted or unwanted.

The world does not want you.
But I will change that.
I want you.

I want you to be the geode that you are,
That I know is inside everyone,
To burst open and scream, scream, scream!!!


This is what you made of me.

Thank God I was wanted.
Thank God I was me.
Thank God I was born to a loving family who supports and cares for me.

If you're told you are a failure, subhuman, less than others...
I still want you.

If I could take all the children without a family, all the animals on the streets or in the shelters, I would.

I won't want for money or a big house or a fancy car.
I'll want for world peace and hope and faith.
I'll want for the people who are unwanted.
Because if that's all it takes, then I'll make everyone a someone.
It's what I want.

1 comment:

  1. Rachel, this post is amazing. I also don't think that it is a coincidence (can't spell) that I was listening to "I Want You Bad" by R5. Just to have the feeling that someone out there who wants you is a good feeling to have, but many people don't get to experience that feeling. Rachel you blow my mind every time I read your blog, and I want you to keep writing on it.