Split

I know I smile, I have to be happy,
Life is too good to cry.
And inside and outside I give every bit of love,
I only have so much joy I can give,
And here it is, I do my best.
I'm nowhere near perfect.

Why am I so stuck on the past, the moment,
The future, all haunting me as I suffocate.
I keep panicking, freaking out,
The smallest things have me broken down.
I'm sick of the world and everything else,
But there's no way to get out.

I'm so lost and so confused,
It's impossible to make sense,
Have you ever been so happy,
And so miserable at the same time?
I'm split in two, and before it was death,
But now I choose to live.