Monday, May 23, 2011


The anger in the voices, I hear them all,
They scream and shout and I begin to doubt
Who am I?  Am I even worthwhile?
It's a hard sad fact when you're powerless.

It's the screaming and the slamming doors
The cracking glass on the broken windows
The walking out, not knowing if he'll come back
And wondering if you even love him.

It's the whispered prayer,
The door closed and the choked sobs,
Music's up even more, then louder,
So you can't hear a word.

It's the forgotten papers laying on your desks,
And dreams and hopes that shatter,
It's you wondering if this family can be forever,
And if he even loves you.

It's the slap across the face as your heart breaks,
Knowing things can never be the same,
And doubting that it will get better.
You've given him chances.

It's the slamming doors and screaming voices,
The cracking glass of the broken window,
The walking out, hoping he'll never come back,
Wondering if you're finally free.

It's the feeling bad because you don't know,
When it becomes empty once again,
It's the wondering if he even cares,
The regret you hold for not being better.

The knowledge it's all his fault,
The belief that it's all yours,
And your mother cries you know she's hurting,
You want to be strong but don't know if you can.

The taste of anger; there's nothing more bitter,
It freezes and burns and tries to break you
I'm hoping he'll walk away but that he'll stay
What was good, is no longer.

Is he going to walk out again?
Mama just say go if he doesn't,
I want him gone from this place forever,
I remember a happy time.

Daddy why can't you get a grip?
I've lost control of all I've known
Please just let go of the hate that's consumed you;
Either that, or walk out.

If you're gonna leave the thing that's worth it,
If you're gonna turn your back on keeping us together,
Then get out because I don't wanna see you ever again,
Oh but Lord, just let him stay and get things better.

It's not worth it to feel this pain
It's not worth it to cry.
I'm not bitter, I'm just cold.
I'm sick of all the hope being broken.

...My parents are fighting again.  I wonder if it'll ever get better.  Daddy, don't leave the church.  I already doubt if I love you.  I already doubt if you love us.
Don't prove that you don't.
Don't make it worse.

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